I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
