Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
