Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
