Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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