Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
