So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
