Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
