Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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