Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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