It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
