we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
