shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Even my vagina gasped.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
