Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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