the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
