I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize