Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
