Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
