Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
