My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
