Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dear god my vagina.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
