i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize