My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
