You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
