Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
