Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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