I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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