Don't make out with my wife yet
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
