the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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