I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
