Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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