I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize