Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
