Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
