My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
