a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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