Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
