I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
