This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
