she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
