Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
