she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
