In the future we'll all be gay
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
