im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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