I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Fuck appropriateness.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
