reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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