How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
