brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
