Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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