He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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