Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
