why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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