Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize