So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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