i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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