Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize