Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize