nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
