my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize