I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
