Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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