I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
