dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
