It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize