thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
