I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
