i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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